Not a Servant

I want to write about the place of rest we have in our Father's house.  What a place of welcome and pleasant acceptance it is to be supping with our Father in His house.  He makes His house your very own heart when you open it to Him.  This was shared recently at my church- what awaits the one who will open the door when he hears that knock.  Its Jesus at the door. He and the Father want to come in and sup with you.

It is a wonder that the one who is self sufficient, happy and healthy, can so easily miss the gentle knock.  And the one who is so aware of his poverty, blindness, nakedness, wretchedness... hears His knock so clearly.  

"But I don't want to be poor in spirit. I'm happy and healthy, and I want to be strong."  

You just don't know.  The one who is poor in spirit can fall in love with a Savior who comes in gentleness, and with love and power and joy.  Its OK if you're strong. He loves you too. You'll just never really know that He was right there to catch you all along, if you had only let go.

At first, we were scared to let Him in because of what He might say to us.  We were afraid to let Him see our stuff, or we were just holding on to it, unwilling to let it go.  But the day we did, we found that He was really a good God, and in a good mood, and He liked us. Wow, that was cool.  

Today He comes knocking again.  And to those who respond, who aren't too happy and healthy to have no need of what this door-knocker has to sell... they will sit at the table with their God.  These will be the overcomers.  They are the ones who are called up to join Him- to sit with their Savior in His throne.

I want you hungry

I'm telling you about your state. How I made you. I want you hungry. ...not to live in poverty, not to be frustrated or filled with angst, but to set you on the adventure of finding Me!


See the injustice, see the lack. Every need for change is the call to find Me! This is motivation. Discover that I'm the answer. The need isn't the mountain to climb.  I am.  See the need, and discover Me.


I'm the Mountain to climb
I'm the gold to mine
I'm the cliff to dive
I'm the depth to plumb


Its not a walk in the park
Not a day at the beach
Not a pleasant peaceful path in the woods
Not a pretty flower


Those things you'll find on the way, but the way itself is discovery, the way is adventure, the way is following the hunger, and if you recognize it as My way, it is the hunger to reveal the things of Heaven. Your task, your role, what you're made for, is to seek those things out and bring them to earth. The kingdom of God is near to you. Grasp it, grasp Me.

"C'mon and ask Me! Ask me!
C'mon, and knock down the doors!
My kingdom's yours! My kingom's yours!"




I'm the Joy

God is Love II

I have to lay this out. I was in total error in my last post. Reading it back now, I seemed earnest and intense about wanting the Love of God that I bring to have gravity.  Just want to say, I'm completely embarrassed by that right now.  


It's total error.  Its soulish and moody and heavy because it's centered on me and what I have.
It's self-serving and self-conscious, not God-centered.  By the end, it barely acknowledges Him!

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I truly struggled with the strong impression I got that day on Jesus Street that the darkness is so great and pervasive, and what it would take to overcome it is so great, and I don't have anything like enough. I have these three fish, but there are thousands who need to be fed.  I completely lost sight of Who is bringing the Love in the first place.


In a devotional I read by Witness Lee, he says, "Whenever we intend to fight against the powers of darkness, Satan, through his accusations, causes our conscience to become very sensitive. These feelings actually are not the sensitivity of the conscience, but the result of Satan's accusations.  Our immediate response should be, “I overcome Satan, the accuser, not by my perfection, and not even by a conscience void of offense, but by the blood of the Lamb. ...Christ is the breastplate of righteousness that covers my conscience and guards me from Satan's accusations.”"


Revelation 12:10 "the accuser of our brothers has been cast down, who accuses them before our God day and night."


God is good and He wants to prove it. God is Love and He wants to show it. God's presence is overcoming every darkness, and losing sight of that is losing hold to what anchors and holds us. It's not about me, not even about man- except as recipients of God's purposes to display His lovingkindness- it's everlasting.

God is Love

God is Love. That's the word Jude and I felt was from the Lord as we prayed before heading to Jesus Street. That God IS Love. And He loves loving, and He loves it when we love. And the more we love the more He loves it... hehe...  Off we went to bring it.


But His Love is a consuming fire. And as someone famous once said, "I'm the fool for thinking, that You would only warm me."


The more I heard of Miss Bessy and all she did to hold down the neighborhood- a godly woman of a strong spirit- how she went and got Jackie out of the house across the street, and made her sit with her on the porch until she straightened out from the drugs she was high on... How when she came out to sit on that porch, things on the block settled down, and boys stopped cursing, she just held down the neighborhood.  I couldn't help but see how committed she was. 


The more I heard of her strength and love for the people there, the weaker and weaker I felt. Until I realized I had nothing to offer this neighborhood.  If God is Love, and He is a powerful Love, then I am nothing like that.  I was broken by how much Love it takes and how little I have. 


"God is Love." All I could see was "I am not! Not even close!" And I almost crumbled under that knowledge. This was the gripping reality of my insufficiency to represent God's Love or carry out His will.  I'm still grappling with how to respond to this.


I know WHAT the textbook answer is. His Spirit in me will bring it to pass. Its the HOW to get there that will be the difference between busy religion and wielding the weight of the Love of God. 


I used to think (one year ago) if I could only hear or see, or just recognize what the Spirit was doing, then I could do it. Watchman Nee says, even if you recognized it, YOU are still in the way. Its you that prevents you from releasing the Spirit of God. 


I have no answers today.

Jesus' Purpose and Passion

Resurrection Day - 2011

Jesus is passionate about revealing the Father. He was that way every day of His life on earth. And He didn't suffer an unjust, bloody death in public shame just to make things OK with us. He did it to reveal the truth about a Heavenly Father who loves with a vengeance- who loves to death. And He did it to bust out the way into an intimate relationship with Himself and with God the Father- inviting us to enter into the intimate, private relationship THEY share as Father and Son. THAT is the relationship He invites us into. Not just to help us through the struggle- Oh, you get that for sure- absolutely for sure! But WAY more than that! 

You are invited into the very secret place of intimacy that Jesus shares with the Father today in Heaven. Its not just the Father and Son, its the Father the Son and you!  Jesus is passionate about that.  The passionate, purposeful path to death that Jesus took was the rescue of mankind FROM the sin that chained him, and INTO a loving, intimate, unafraid, one on one, everything you ever wanted, or dared to believe, relationship with our Heavenly Dad.

Give Jesus what he is most passionate for. Let His words, His impressions, His whispers, His affections, His kisses, let them soak... deeply... into... your very spirit...  And let your spirit spring alive; welling up in tears of beautiful joy, in laughter... giddy, wide open cries of laughter, and sloppy, snorting, deep, deep joy- because you are knowing the One, The One who loves you in your deepest places, and always has, and always will.

Zep 3:15,17  "The LORD has taken away His judgments against you, He has cleared away your enemies. The King of Israel, the LORD, is in your midst; You will fear disaster no more.  He is mighty to save. He exults over you with joy, He rests in His love, He rejoices over you with shouts of joy."

Psa 18:31-35 "For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God, who girds me with strength and makes my way blameless? 

He makes my feet like hinds' feet, And sets me upon my high places. 

He trains my hands for battle, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. 

You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, And Your right hand upholds me; And Your gentleness makes me great."

Friday a Thief... Sunday a King

It's Good Friday- Death is about to die

Greater love no one could ever show
Mercy so undeserved, freedom I should not know
All my sin, all of my hidden shame
Died with Him on the cross, eternity won for us

This is Jesus in His glory

King of Heaven dying for me

It is finished, He has done it

Death is beaten, Heaven beckons me

-today's blog title is a lyric from John Mark McMillan's song "Death in his grave"

Days of Lemt - Day Seven

He's Just Uncontrollable


I'll admit it. I love my church. We have a cool Wednesday night meeting called Clarity. Its supposed to be for middle and high schoolers, but all the Jesus Freaks are just taking it over now, so its pretty uncontrollable.  


During a time of worship, I had this image- how Jesus knows us with this precision because he knows what he made when he made us. And he can completely disarm us when he speaks a word to our hearts because He knows exactly what he made us to reflect, what he made us to respond to... how he shaped us perfectly to fit together with him in certain ways- very specific ways that he whispers to us, and then we're just undone. 


Then... like he didn't just speak the most personal, perfect word, that felt like a secret that no one knew, not even ourselves - he splashes love on us like paint from a bucket splashed up against the wall... followed by more buckets of sloppy, stupid, gushes of paint that cover us and make us slip and fall down in the mess of colors that don't even match.  


What is up with Jesus? He's brilliantly personal and sincere, and careful with your heart like you've never experienced before, and then He's a gusher of laughter and song, spinning over you with love and giggles. How do you explain a Jesus like that? Well, I just did.




1 Peter 4:8 "Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins."

Days of Lemt - Day Six

Love everyone it's in your heart to love


I was in a semi-rough neighborhood yesterday with a friend.  We were just there for a quick deed. We're both on this journey of LEMT- learning that loving Jesus looks more like being in love with Him than working at our Christian life - whatever that is...


We weren't in the neighborhood for very long.  But definitely long enough to feel the forces that are at work there, and long enough to feel the love of Jesus for that place.  Especially for all the kids out playing in the street, and for the older ones, and their struggle to maintain.  Its amazing how God works in our hearts in zero time. There was immediate compassion and hope and vision and purpose in our short visit.


Afterwards we were talking about our visit and how it was such an open door for ministry. I asked if she wanted to go be a missionary.  She said, "No.... I just want to tell them all about Jesus."  Haha!  I just think Jesus loved that, and laughed, and loved some more.


I think we're getting it.

Days of Lemt - Day Five

Say YES! to Jesus


Growing in love with Jesus is saying YES! to everything that's true about Him. You feel it ring true in your spirit when you hear it, or see it.  You know it's true, and your heart jumps up and says Yes! That's my Jesus!


No matter when you hear it, Yes! 


...or where you hear it, Yes!


...or who you hear it from, Yes! THAT's My Jesus!!




Say Yes! Jesus! to THIS slew of truth about Him!

Days of Lemt - Day Four

Love Jesus in public


I know something just came to mind when you read that. What was it? Quick before its gone.
Think of this one like kissing your girlfriend/ boyfriend in front of your parents, or your friends, or at the home depot.  There's something daring in that, and you feel stronger when you do it. 


Pray over your lunch today, sing a song about Jesus so people can hear you, or try NOT stopping singing the one you WERE singing when people are around.  It's like kissing in public, it's daring, and you need to do it!


Jesus will love it!

Days of Lemt - Day Three

Lead Angels in Worship


Ever since last weekend I have this sense of Jesus dancing in Heaven- really dancing- hard! This isn't something I "believe in." It just dropped into my thoughts last Saturday, and now every time I think about it I start giggling like a girl. I mean I can't help laughing till I almost cry. 


Today, be in love with Jesus and let the Holy Spirit in you dance for Him, and see if you can keep from laughing.  And if you start giggling like a girl, don't say I didn't warn you.


You're leading angels in worship!

I'm after Your heart, why should I be still when the worship starts Lord?!

I'm so in love with You. What can man do? Can't hold me back anymore!

You spin over me, and You are pleased when I spend myself on You.

I'm gonna let go and really worship, letting my dance come forth.

Dance Dance, Let the Spirit move you, Dance Dance, Holy Spirit in you!

Days of Lemt - Day Two

This is Day Two of Lemt - Loving Jesus Ever More Truly.  I know it's a lame acronym, so I apologize up front.


It struck me earlier this year that being in love with Jesus is not the way we learned about the first commandment. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength..."


This wording has always made it seem like a task for me to do- something to work at.  Now, I get it that love isn't all walks in the park.  But in does include walks in the park. And you know what else being in love includes?  Things like grinning at each other over lunch, and coming up with totally ridiculous names for each other. Being in love is giddy. It giggles at the slightest thought of the one you love. You write poems, and songs, and you're inspired to do things that are completely original and costly but who cares, You're in love!  And this is the most important commandment. Wow!

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God wants to be loved exactly like we want to be loved!


Sing a song to Jesus today. Go ahead and make one up. Its already in your heart, and no one knows Jesus like you do.  Maybe there are songs that you think are the greatest ever, but I'm telling you that no one can say it the way you mean it in your heart right now.  Its a song just between you and Him that no one else will ever hear.


Ps 40:3  "He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God"



PS - it doesn't even have to be a good song... it could be like this one...

Days of Lemt - Day One

Day One:

I hope the whole church throughout history isn't offended if I just go ahead and change Lent.
I'm declaring this the season of LEMT - Loving Ever More Truly - 40 days before Easter to practice being in love with Jesus - ever more truly.

I'm getting a late start so there'll only be 30 days, but for the next 30 days I want to post the crazy things I've been encountering since I've started asking to experience God's love. Maybe I should call it:


How to encounter God's Love

So this is the first day - I'm not getting lazy, but c'mon who can say this better than Kim?!!


Kim Walker

Ps 73:25, 26 "Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Prince of Peace

Prince of Peace

Akiane Kramarik 

(age 8)

Perhaps I wanted to catch it

perhaps not

But one morning

an eagle dropped a diamond

And right then

with my faulty brush

full of my own hair

I wanted to paint

I wanted to paint the wings-

Too late - they flew away

I wanted to paint a flower

Too late - it withered

That night the rain

was running after me

Each drop of rain

showed God's face

His face was everywhere

On homes and on me

I wrung out the love

to make the red

I wrung out the stumps

to make the brown

I wrung out the trust

to make the pink

I wrung out my own eyes

to make the blue

I wrung out the seaweed

to make the green

I wrung out the nightly pain

to make the black

I wrung out my grandmother's hair

to make the gray

I wrung out my visions

to make the violet

I wrung out the truth

to make the white

Today I want to paint God's face

IT'S NOT TOO LATE !

What did God make when He made man?

By all accounts, angels are bigger, stronger, and way more mighty than man.  When they appear men fall on their faces in fear.  They're always saying "Don't be afraid."  That is, when they're not slaying 185,000 men with a single wave of their hand.  When it comes to things on earth and with man, angels are fearsome, dreadful beings.


And I think that may go for all the other creatures in Heaven that we have tiny glimpses of throughout scripture- seraphim, and those flying creatures with no name... It's just that they live in Heaven and behold the face of God all the time, and all the works of His hands, and the light of His presence, and the increase of His government, and how everything is known, and even the rocks are living by His power, by His word... they can't help but carry power from that.


We, on the extreme other hand, can't see God. We're not really sure what all is going on in Heaven.  And we're astonishingly gullible creatures. It didn't take Satan long to take us captive and steal authority over the whole earth from us... We have limitations like only having 70 or 90 years to live (you know, versus forever for angels), we don't know God's will, or His true nature, or we know it poorly.  We, with veiled faces, see as through a glass dimly, the things of God.


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So what exactly did God make when He made man?  We are obviously not His most mighty creature.  I have an inkling that when God made man, He in fact, made the weakest, most limited being He ever made.  What leads me to think this?  Well, He does say quite clearly how blessed are the poor and the weak, and how He regards the humble. How its the last that shall be first... And many more words about the value He places on lesser things. I think it may be that He has made us... lesser... In fact... least.


So I kind of laugh a little bit when we strive to become stronger or greater.  Its as though, even if you were to be great, and be a true leader of men, we are still just a room full of midgets arguing about who's tallest!  


In the big picture, God didn't make us big! 


So, where the heck am I going with this?  Well, being true to the purpose of this blog, I think I see in this a surprising aspect of God's nature that I really never expected... or even really ever heard of!


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He made us smallest and weakest.  And He tells us, go ahead and take down the works and plans of Satan in the world. I'm getting the distinct impression that God laughs from Heaven with delight when we stuff it in Satan's face!  


I can hear Him say it like this, "Hah!  I made the weakest creatures I ever made in my life!!! And they can take whatever they want from My kingdom, bring it to earth, and walk all over you and your works!  And I will laugh from heaven!"  ...The way Jesus laughed when the disciples came back from healing the sick and casting out demons in His name.  He said, "I saw Satan falling from heaven like lightning!" You can't tell me Jesus wasn't stoked that day! 


I think God likes to display His true glory, power and Love in us, and maybe just as much likes to make a public spectacle of Satan and his supposed power through such a weak vessel as man.  I find some comfort in this knowledge. ...and more than a little bit of humor.




Colossians 2:14-15 "He canceled the record of charges against us and nailed them to the cross.  In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities and made a public spectacle of them by his victory over them on the cross."